Feeling safe and accepted at Al-Anon meetings

Al-Anon offers me a place to let my guard down—a place where it is safe to speak from my heart, knowing that what I share will go no further.

My story is my own, but it resonates with members of my group, as do theirs with me. We have a common thread—our lives are affected by alcoholism. Sitting quietly, and listening as people speak, I often hear little jewels that I can apply to my own circumstances.

My husband does not have a drinking problem. He says it’s my attitude that’s at fault and has been for the 28 years I have known him.

Over the past two years, through the Al-Anon program, I am coming to understand that he may well have a point. Even though I am powerless over his drinking, I can change how I respond. Working the Twelve Steps leads me to acknowledge my part in what happens and to focus on changing my attitudes and responses.

When flash points occur, I hold on to the Serenity Prayer and sayings I hear in meetings. They always seem just right for the moment. “Keep an open mind” offers me the possibility of changing how I think and not being quite so quick to judge, while “count your blessings” reminds me to do just that and be thankful. In quieter times, reflecting on the Steps and daily readings brings me to a more balanced place. It is so easy to slip back into the old obsessive, distorted thinking.

Ours is a small group. We laugh and cry a lot. Over the months, the feeling of being accepted and loved in a very special way has become profoundly sustaining to me. My life has changed for the better in ways I would never have thought possible when, distressed and desperate beyond words, I walked through the door of my first Al-Anon meeting.

By Anonymous, Australia
The Forum, September 2010

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