To clarify, this discussion format, known as a blog, is a first-time attempt to put the workshop on “Using the Concepts in Our Personal Lives” into a written format–via an electronic, interactive discussion.  It is not an on-line meeting.  It is an attempt to simulate electronically the interaction of members sharing their insights on the Concepts as they would do in a face-to-face workshop.

I first started speaking about the Concepts at a Convention workshop that was basically centered on explaining the meaning of the words within the Legacy.  Over the years, as I became more aware of the Concepts on a deeper spiritual level, I began to discuss how we could use them in our own daily living.  Our three Legacies, the Steps, the Traditions, and the Concepts of Service are the foundation of our recovery.  Most of us are aware of the necessity of working the Steps to heal and restore ourselves, but we generally have viewed the Traditions as something for the groups, and the Concepts were for “those other people” whoever they were.

Under the Introduction tab (in the upper right-hand corner of this page) is an in-depth discussion of the Steps and Traditions.  If this is your first visit here, I suggest that you read it at your leisure.  It may help as you explore the idea that the Legacies are spiritual principles that build one upon the other.  If we don’t begin our recovery in the Steps, and enhance it with the Traditions, we may not be fully ready to expand our spiritual growth as we work the Concepts.  Of course, that doesn’t mean that newcomers can’t participate and learn in the blog, as we all gain insights in a variety of ways and at our own pace.

Let me remind everyone that these are my insights and experiences.  As always, take what you like and leave the rest.  The purpose of this blog, as in the workshop, is to share what I have discovered in hopes that it will lead you to a new and broader understanding for your own recovery.  We all know there is no one way to do it, but as my Sponsor said frequently, “But, do it!!!!”

As I stated earlier, this is not an on-line meeting so we don’t have permission to quote Al-Anon or any other literature.  As it is not Conference Approved Literature in fact or concept, it is not appropriate to print it and distribute in a face-to-face group or electronic meeting.  If you wish to print it for your personal use, that’s fine, but you need written permission from the World Service Office in order to copy and distribute regardless of your purpose.

Each of us has the ability to share what a Concept now means to him or her and how as individuals we have used it or could in the future.  Don’t worry about grammar or spelling.  The readers here are interested in your thoughts not your literary style.  It really isn’t Conference Approved Literature!

Let’s have fun and learn together.

The rights of appeal and petition protect minorities and insure that they be heard.

Concept Five is about the right to be heard and not the right to be right.  Members are assured that they can ask for what they need (petition) and can ask for a decision to be reconsidered when they believe it to be in grave error (appeal).  How different from my family, when decisions were criticized but never voiced to the body that made them– usually my parents.

This Concept contains the spiritual principle that all opinions must be heard in order to have an informed group conscience.  The majority agrees to listen to the minority.  In return, the minority agrees that once heard, it will support the group conscience and move on to other issues.  It also implies that the minority can not continue to appeal or petition until it gets its way.  To infer that would be to say that the minority must always prevail.  If God is in every group conscience, then such an attitude would say that God wasn’t participating or was misinformed.  A sharing in the Courage to Change reminds me that I can say something once to give my opinion.  I may be able to repeat it once to be sure that I am understood.  If I repeat it after that, I am nagging.  This helped me to understand  that once I was heard, I had to let go of the results.

The pamphlet on the Concepts states that allowing the minority view to be voiced guarantees us that we will never be subject to the tyranny of the majority or the minority.  I had to learn that if the minority was to feel heard, then my behavior needed to show that I was indeed listening.  I had to curtail my eye-rolling, foot-tapping, and general signs of impatience.  I had to realize that God could speak through someone who irritated me;  I only had to listen.  Once the minority is heard, it is time for the majority to decide whether to reconsider its decision, take a new vote, or merely say thank you and remain with the original decision.  How we do this is as important as what is said.

In my home, I have to remember to take time to ask for the minority view.  I used to believe that silence meant agreement.  I thought that if I asked you, you would immediately tell me how you felt.  Why I thought this was possible for you when it was almost never possible for me, I don’t know.  So I’ve learned not to make important decisions without adequate time for discussion and reflection. There are emergencies like a fire when there may not be time to debate which door is the proper exit.  However, most decisions aren’t emergencies, even when we think they are.  I was accustomed to creating crises and then feeling good about myself when I rescued all of you.  My Sponsor suggested that I needed to stop before there was a crisis.

Even when no one voices a contrary view today, I have learned to say, “Well, let’s think it over and discuss it again (state a time).  Would that suit you?”  Then I wait for an answer.  When the time comes, I don’t repeat my opinion.  I merely ask:   “Have you thought about the topic we discussed?  Do you have any additional insights, or are we ready to make a decision?”  In this way, I not only hear the minority view, but I usually make decisions that don’t have to be discussed again after hurt feelings erupt.

Within the fellowship, I have learned to spell out the process that we are going to use to make a decision first.  We seek an understanding of how we will conduct the discourse before the discussion begins.  If conflict arises, we stop and use the tools of the program to resolve the conflict, whenever possible.  We have to acknowledge that there might be people who will not accept the right of the majority to make a decision.  They may still be struggling with mutual trust and respect.  If we demonstrate mutual trust and respect, we might make it safe for them to accept a view even when they believe the decision is wrong.

The majority needs to be willing to listen, but it doesn’t have to change its mind.  And we have to remember that the volume of the speakers is not indicative of the rightness of their positions.  I need to remember these ideas not only when I am in the majority, but also in those instances where I am that minority voice.

Al-Anon’s concern is the freedom and protection of the individual members as well as the unity of the whole. 

Now it is your time to share how the idea of agreeing to listen to the minority view or speaking up when you find yourself in the minority could empower you or has empowered you in your personal time, whether at home, at work, or in any type of service.

Read the chapter on Concept 5 from Paths to Recovery (B-24)
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