Thinking Abundantly in…

By Ric B., Virginia

A group of Al-Anon members share on thinking abundantly in understanding our Legacies.

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Connie H., WSO Trustee, discusses abundance in supporting our trusted servants with members of

District 2, Iowa.

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By Vicki H., California

For many years I practiced abundance of relationships.  After all, I am my third husband’s fourth wife!  It has only been recently that I began to see the abundance in my relationships.

 Today’s economy has hit my family hard.  Where we thought that we could retire comfortably, we suddenly find ourselves in a world of “lack” where our finances are concerned.  Having worn myself out whining about our situation, it was just recently that my mindset changed.  Having been through financial hardships in my marriages to active alcoholics, the difference of recovery in the same circumstance is amazing.

 Today, my husband and I are walking through this together.  We are talking and reasoning things out as a team.  Though we do not always agree where that nickel ought to go, we are able to negotiate and collaborate rather than any one of us insisting on our way.  As a result, we are growing closer as our discussions center around what our own individual priorities are, finding that we are never very far apart in our wants and needs. There is no argument about putting money in “the basket”, continuing to put time into our respective service work rather than more hours into a paycheck, or having all of our kids and grandkids over for a shared meal.  Our priorities are beginning to change away from that new video camera or a bigger vehicle to a meeting together or an evening at home sharing our day.

 Our children are having to rethink things as well.  They know that we can no longer help them financially and they have begun to show up to visit with us, rather than to ask for something.  This year for Christmas, instead of receiving a large amount of money, they got homemade items and I think they liked them even more!  We have begun to spend more time talking and playing with our grandchildren than trying to figure out what might be the best gift.

 The relationships I have in the fellowship have begun to grow deeper.  The “meeting after the meeting” is no longer a requirement to have money.  Hanging  out in the room until the lights flicker actually includes more people than going out for pie ever did!  How great it has been to chat with those that I have never seen at the coffee shop.

 Don’t get me wrong.  If I were to win the lottery,  I would not reject the money.  But I’m grateful to be able to feel the abundance that is free for the taking.  I’m finding that not only is God amazing, but my family ain’t half bad either.

By Laurie K., MO

 Very early in my Al-Anon experience I heard someone say that if we didn’t believe we would be taken care of, we didn’t really trust our Higher Power. Inside, I carried with me the cloud of want and worry that I had grown up with. I surely didn’t want to admit I didn’t believe in a dependable Higher Power.

 I grew up on a ranch that produced an abundance of food for us but there was little cash around. I learned, or maybe just felt, the constant concern that we wouldn’t have enough. I brought that feeling into adulthood, and living with active alcoholism didn’t help. I’m sure it was my choice but I took on the responsibility for paying the bills in our household and then felt fearful every month that we wouldn’t have enough to pay them all.

 A member of my home group mentioned that she had my Sponsor.  My momentary flash of jealousy was fortunately replaced by the thought that she couldn’t have chosen a better person for a Sponsor. My subsequent experience showed that this lady had plenty of love, acceptance, and time for both of us. That was evidence of abundance!

 Our Al-Anon Area never had a lot of money but when a public information project was planned or a typewriter needed to be bought, members would invariably say that the necessary funds would appear and they always did!

 Discovering situations in which my needs were met in spite of my misgivings, and hearing members relating stories of receiving just what was needed at the right time, softened my distrust.  My faith in that Higher Power I was finding in Al-Anon grew.  I heard myself saying those same words, “We will somehow have what we need.”

 About a year ago, my home group dwindled down to about four consistent members and my friend was very worried that the group would close.  I trusted that we would grow again and we’re back up to 12 or 15 in attendance every week!

 My husband and I are of retirement age and I expected that as we got older and had less income, we would have to forgo some of the pleasures we enjoyed. The actual truth is that we seem to have more than we had in the past.  I do notice that my wants are fewer but I’m also sure that we are being taken care of.  I trust we will continue to have what we need—and some frivolities, too.

 Today, I truly believe that we live in an atmosphere of abundance. I see it in my own life, in the lives of my fellow members, and in the Al-Anon program itself. I see many enthusiastic members at Al-Anon events and know that they will keep this wonderful program going for us, and for those who will need us in the future. I see a great deal of wisdom around the room where our Board of Trustees meet and I trust that they will take us into the future safely and with vision.

 Al-Anon’s future is in good hands—yours and mine, and that of our Higher Power.

by Roger C., Alberta

When I was growing up abundance was a foreign concept to me; I had very little money and was told to save what money I had.  It appeared that with money there were two options: save it or waste it!  My parents believed that giving children allowances encouraged them to waste money and so I received no allowance.  In my spare time I was expected to work, unpaid, on the family farm and so getting a part time job was not an option.  Up until I left home at age 18 I had to ask my parents if I needed any money.  I don’t recall any of my requests being refused but there were many times when I was afraid to ask for something because I thought it would be refused or because I did not think I deserved it.  My parents’ attitude towards money was not adopted because we lived in poverty; however, their need to accumulate money may have been based on fear of poverty.

Fortunately I have come to realize that money is not an end in itself.  I am responsible for my finances and have to pay my bills and plan for the future.  Through the Al-Anon program I am learning to replace fear with faith and I also believe that I have a responsibility to support my community by contributing to agencies that help those in need.  This is more than an obligation and its something I choose to do out of gratitude.  In my Al-Anon program I express gratitude by contributing financially and doing service work.  The spiritual gifts of the program are abundant and in order to keep them I have to share them.

By Mary G., New York

I have often expressed my understanding of being in a Higher Power’s will as imagining myself in the middle of a stream, flowing along with the current, neither fighting nor struggling against the natural way of things. This is an apt metaphor for the life I have found since coming to Al-Anon. There is a country song, “Knee Deep in the River (Dying of Thirst),” that describes my life before I became aware of the riches that surround me. How did I discover how to quench my spiritual thirst by allowing the river to take me along with it?

There are a couple of books that I turn to when I need to extend my spiritual understanding, and each time I read one, I am revived by what I find there. Interestingly, each of them reminds me that what I seek spiritually is always found in the present moment. In the present, I find the little things that give my life meaning and bring me joy. A major area of spiritual growth for me has been the revelation that what I currently have in my life is all that I need to make me happy, if I pay attention to it.

In Al-Anon’s As We Understood . . ., I find stories that clarify my spiritual walk, and remind me how self-imposed restrictions have kept me from experiencing the plentiful life that is mine each day. Coming from a home where money was scarce, “we don’t have” and “we can’t” were the underlying messages of our existence. Straight into a marriage with an active alcoholic, my eyes, mind, and heart were focused on what was missing, what we didn’t have, where we couldn’t be. Scarcity messages became the reality in all my affairs—from money to spiritual belief. I was governed by restriction, self-imposed boundaries, fear of not having enough of anything, including love and security. In short, I was spiritually bereft and soul-sick. Life was a struggle against the current.

The sense of lack and restriction in my spiritual life kept me from experiencing the possibilities that Al-Anon suggested I had been created to experience. I began a search for spirituality and a God of my understanding. I had left behind my childhood religious beliefs in an angry response to alcoholism; so, I watched my fellow Al-Anon members and noticed how they found joy and peace. My spiritual efforts were experimental. I tried what they did—more often than not with a skeptical attitude. But, hearing the laughter, I persisted. Daily, I learned to make choices that severed the invisible strings that kept me imprisoned in a struggle with fear and lack. The gentle Al-Anon environment opened my mind and soul without ever imposing any doctrine, dogma, or required system of belief. In the spiritual principles of the program, I discovered a “freedom to understand” that I had never known before. It continues to this day at every meeting I attend, in every piece of literature I read. I became aware of a spiritual flow from the words to the group, and to me.

My raft is found in the personal freedom to believe, to live, to experience life in a spiritually abundant way. But, it is knowing that I don’t have to understand that is the most freeing of all. I often talk about the God of my “misunderstanding,” believing that if I understand God, I diminish God, reducing that Boundless Energy to the limits of my own brain. I prefer the mystery so that my ego stays out of the way and I can allow abundance to work in my life. My spiritual beliefs in positive energy and love are manifested wherever Al-Anon is spoken. It is abundantly available to me if I pay attention and stay open to it. I need never feel restricted, trapped, or imprisoned in an endless struggle against life again. My soul sickness has been replaced by the sure knowledge that if I consciously notice the goodness that is in my life today, relax in it, and share it with others, there will be an abundance of goodness tomorrow. No longer am I “Standing Knee-Deep in a River (Dying of Thirst)” as the song goes, instead I am aware of the joy of floating along immersed in and nourished by the richness of the spirit that moves me.

By Carol V., Wisconsin

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By Mary Ann R., Connecticut 

Serving Al-Anon is available in many ways. There are service opportunities at the group, district, Information Service , Area, and World Service Office (WSO) levels.  I began my service at the Group level by washing ash trays at the end of the meeting.

By the end of my first year in the fellowship, my Sponsor felt that it was time for me to speak outside the group.  Well, I had all kinds of excuses and reasons why I couldn’t oblige her request, but she had answers for all of them. One of my biggest obstacles was that my fear of inadequacy conflicted with my fear of telling her no.  When she wouldn’t accept my excuses, I relented.  I developed that pattern of making excuses when asked to do service work, which lasted for several years.  I often played the martyr, with comments like:  “I have so many things to do, how can I take on any more responsibilities?”

One day my Sponsor asked me if I wanted to get well.  Well, of course I did, so I responded accordingly.  She replied with, “Instead of asking yourself if you have the time for service work, ask yourself how will you make the time?”  This was my first lesson in abundant thinking through service.

Service work empowered me to feel good about myself.  The self-pity was replaced with self-esteem , the fear with courage, and the loneliness, desperation, and isolation with the opportunities to reach out to others.  As I shared with others, I received more than I could have ever imagined.

As I gained strength and courage through my service work, I replaced the words “I can’t” with “I can” or “I’m willing to try.”  As I climbed the road to recovery, those wonderful members that paved the way gave me an abundance of support. I came to know that service work offers us a lifetime of abundant thinking.

Please share what thinking abundantly in service means to you.

 By Paula B., North Carolina

and Joanne C., Oregon

Our Twelfth Step tells us that after “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.”  This topic encourages us to share the spiritual principles that we have learned.  I have found that in doing this I get more than I give.  I feel the abundance of my gratitude for this program and the abundance of time, energy, and unconditional love that members and sponsors have given me.

 In reaching out to others, I have heard many creative ways members have shared these spiritual principles through doing Public Outreach.  Although many activities require time, some involve time and money.  The guideline “Al-Anon/Alateen Public Outreach Service” (G-10) provides many ideas.  Recently, I heard of an activity that is very exciting and energized the Area, but didn’t cost a lot of money.

 The Oregon Area Public Information Coordinator, working with their Area Public Outreach Action Committee, took the latest bookmark, the curvy road, and animated it for viewing as a public service announcement (PSA) in movie theaters.  Music and a voice over were added.  I wanted to learn more about the project and what it took to put this together and the spiritual benefits the members received.

 Describe the technical skills required to digitize the bookmark, add music and voice over.  Did you have to hire professionals? 

 Yes, the cinema company required us to outsource the actual creation of the PSA to the graphics design firm they use.  The technical skills required were minimal.  The outsourcing company sent me a list of what they needed for graphics, including the necessary format and resolution.  I sent this list to the WSO and was provided the graphics needed.  These graphic “pieces” were sent to the designer who put them together. 

 We were limited to the number of words we could use so we chose the copy used on the bookmark.  It was exciting to pick out the music and the specific voice for the voice over.  The graphic designer I worked with was always available to answer any of my questions.  Now that the PSA is finished we have the opportunity for it to be viewed in any of the theaters under contract for just the cost of the air time.

 Were there fears related to cost of project?  If so, how did the Area Public Outreach Action Committee and Oregon Area Assembly overcome them?  

 There were some fears, but not many.  Our focus was to reach the younger audience of prospective future Al-Anon members.  The Action Committee immediately felt in their hearts this was the right path.  There were a few Assembly members that had some hesitation.  They were given the chance to speak and were heard.  Members of the Action Committee expressed their spiritual feelings.  When the Assembly considered the spiritual principles of Step Twelve, everyone came together to back the project.  It was the spirit of abundance in action.

 Describe the spiritual abundance related to working together to complete the project. 

 The abundance of the spirit of all working together for the “good of Al-Anon” and knowing that God had led us to a project was something we never would have dreamed we would be able to afford.  The PSA is one of the largest projects the Area has even undertaken.  This started as an idea in one District.  They asked the Area for financial support and it grew into an Area project way beyond anything we had at first envisioned.  WSO had been inspired to give us the tool of the bookmark and God was truly not limited by our imagination.  Our single Area had the ability to touch so many people as a result of a single bookmark.  It has filled our Area with an abundance of positive energy and a renewed enthusiasm for Public Outreach.

 How has this changed the way Oregon has viewed this opportunity in relation to the spiritual idea of abundance?

 The creation of the PSA was a one-time cost. The Area can show the PSA in any of the theaters owned by the company for the limited cost of run time (amount of days we want it to show). The Action Committee grabbed onto the idea we could show this same PSA over the entire Area. This felt so right to the committee. The idea we were breaking into new territory was like a source of energy in the room. I explained to everyone (the Committee and the Area) that the impact of the PSA would be very difficult to measure, if at all. This was an awareness campaign. We were planting the seed, which was the footwork, and had to let go of the fear of not being able to document the results. It might take years for someone viewing this PSA to realize they have been impacted by alcoholism. This has had an impact on how the entire Area views risk. One year from the time it was made, the PSA will have been shown in nine districts out of the seventeen in our Area. One spark of an idea grew abundantly.

 Describe the spiritual abundance related to viewing the PSA on the “big screen” as well as experiencing people coming to a meeting as a result of their viewing it. 

 The feeling is beyond anything I have personally experienced before.  The numbers of impressions (viewers) of this PSA are so huge – it is still incomprehensible to me.  When I saw the PSA on the big screen, it filled me with such a feeling of looking at what we had (the bookmark) and making the most of it (the PSA).  My feeling was one of awe at the path God had led us on in the project. Now other Areas are taking notice of this project. 

 As of this interview, I have not come into contact with persons coming to a meeting as a result of their viewing the PSA, but other members have told me they have had this experience. We may not know for years the impact of this PSA on reaching out to those still needing our program.

 In “Lois Remembers” she speaks about “a pebble in a pond.”  With one small action, the effects spread out.  This is spiritual abundance to me.  My Higher Power has a plan that I cannot know or imagine, but I must trust by taking action.  I can ask for help along this spiritual journey and find the path is brighter and the load lighter.  A partner on this journey is the WSO as it provides Public Outreach to people who have been affected by a loved one’s’ drinking.  In this way, I can focus more of my time and energy on my personal recovery and outreach to others.

We are exploring gaining permission to show the video on the site.  If granted, members will not be permitted to download due to contract limitations.  A jpg of the bookmark from which the video PSA was made is below.

Karen R., a member of the Finance Committee, discusses abundance in sharing with others in sponsorship with members of Steps to Freedom AFG in Tucson, Arizona.

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