Young woman contemplates change

When I came to Al-Anon six and a half years ago, my life was very different. My boyfriend at the time was going to a treatment center and I was planning to make a geographical cure.

I was lost, confused, and didn’t realize how crazy I had become in the alcoholic relationship. I had no idea there was a history of alcoholism in my family or in other relationships I’d been in. Denial is a very powerful thing.

At first, I was unsure about Al-Anon because I thought the alcoholic was the one who was sick and that I was the sane one. Not true. I’d become just as sick by trying to control his drinking.

It took me a little while to get a Sponsor. I didn’t want to get that involved in the program. I thought the people in the meetings were a lot different than me. I was 25 years old and most of the members in my group were much older than me.

Then I saw that my boyfriend was getting much better and I was still pretty insane. Always fearful, I never lived in the present. I worried constantly about everyone and everything.

So I went to more meetings, talked to people between meetings, and got involved in service. I decided I wanted to get better, too. Everyone was not different than me.

Now I have close relationships with Al-Anon friends, I have a wonderful Sponsor, I’m married, and I have a nine-month-old baby girl. My life is good.

I don’t know where I’d be without this program. I guess I don’t really care to speculate. This program helps me every day. I still get fearful and worry about big and small things in my life, but today I have tools that I can use to help me.

I use the phone, journal, go to meetings, read Conference Approved Literature, and work the Steps. Today I try to enjoy each day and focus on the things that are good in my life.

Sometimes I struggle because my meeting schedule has changed due to having a baby, but this has allowed me to go to meetings that I don’t normally attend and I’m learning to be flexible. Things will be forever changing. Whether I look at changes in a positive or negative way is all in my attitude.

Today I try to ask for what I need. I may not always get it, but I ask. I try not to do for others what they can do for themselves or give advice without being asked. I’m better about gossiping.

I have healthy relationships with friends and family—I’ve come a long way. There are always things to work on. One great thing is that I’ll never graduate from the program. I used to want to, but Al-Anon is a very important part of my life and I don’t ever want to lose it. Thank you, Al-Anon, for a happy, healthy life.

By Lori E., Kentucky
The Forum, March 2007

© Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 2007. All Rights Reserved.