Skeptical loner finds support in Al-Anon

There are many roads to success in Al-Anon. All are interesting; none are the same. I believe that for everyone, the struggle can feel lonely and, at times, not worth the effort. It certainly felt that way for me, and many times I nearly quit.

It was only after I’d been going to Al-Anon for two years that I began to work the Steps with a Sponsor. Prior to this, I had attended meetings regularly and listened carefully.

Recognizing and identifying emotions did not come easily to me; I spent most of my life on academic and intellectual investigation—not on the truths of my emotional life. Al-Anon meetings—where I had to honestly assess and reveal anxieties and shortcomings to strangers—were excruciatingly difficult at times.

Overcoming my arrogance and developing authentic humility were even more difficult steps. In retrospect, two years do not seem all that long an apprenticeship to have served before being ready for a Sponsor and Steps.

I had to take real care getting a Sponsor. I took a good long time watching my Sponsor to assess whether she would respond positively and be good for me; I was lucky to succeed on both counts.

It’s been about three and a half years now since I have regularly attended meetings—possibly the most exciting years of my life. Al-Anon, the kind of support I once sneered at, has become an essential and continuing source of renewal and healing for this writer—an agnostic, a skeptic, a loner—who now feels less doubtful, less alone, and more a part of an amazing group.

By Brian C., Canada
The Forum, July 2009

© Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 2009. All Rights Reserved.