Until I came into the Al‑Anon program about six years ago, I was ashamed of my alcoholic family—my father, brothers, uncles, and aunts. I blamed them for their behavior. I’ll never forget when I brought a guy I liked to my house and he said, “Are you sure you weren’t adopted?” He was serious. We never went out again.

The hardest amends I have ever done was to my dad. My parents divorced when I was one year old. I only saw him on weekends or summers. He really wasn’t around all that much. He lived with my grandparents who were more or less the caregivers.

It may not be the case in your meeting but in my meeting, the member count is typically ten women for every man. It is said that every alcoholic affects the lives of at least twenty people but, certainly, those twenty people can’t all be women. So why aren’t there more men in Al‑Anon? Some evenings, I’m the only man in the room.