I grew up in an alcoholic family, where the words “I love you” were never spoken. There were never any outward signs of affection, such as hugging. I loved my family deeply, but the love I knew was unhealthy: I took care of them and felt resentful afterwards for the emptiness I felt inside.

I joined Al‑Anon because of my husband’s behavior when he was drinking—and he drank daily. My kids were little at the time. I heard people in meetings talk about their children’s addictions, and I thought it was bad enough dealing with a spouse. I could not imagine coping with one of my kids being addicted as well.

Today is my birthday—and the only thing I want is to thank all of you for the blessings I have received from Al-Anon. All of you have shared and reached out to me in ways that have touched my heart. You helped me to believe that it is possible to endure the pain and accept that my son has a problem with drinking and using drugs.

Everything is perfect in the universe—even your desire to improve it. I acquired this bit of wisdom from a fortune cookie, tucked it in my wallet, and carried it around for a long time. I enjoyed wearing my God suit. It fit perfectly and supported my misguided attempts to take control because of my husband’s alcoholism. I was sure I could fix him, manage damage, and prevent crises.